Learning and Growing

Tuesday, October 29, 2019

Hey Friends. So I use this space to look back and remember the journey of life. One thing that I learned really quickly thought out our fertility journey is that life doesn't always go as planned. Meaning that it almost never works out how you expect it to. Which is totally okay. I know God is planning and walking me through paths to learn and grow. I totally get that. I've learned really quickly through motherhood that just because we finally have our blessing that I am not done learning and growing.  

You see life has recently brought me down a new path. Toddlerhood! Charlee and I are both learning and growing everyday. Up until now I have kinda been the mold that shaped who she is but now she is learning that she is her own little person. She gets to call the shots and it isn't always what I want. I may want her to wear one thing but she totally wants to wear the cowgirl boots with the pj's. I get it Girlfriend I do. I am learned to not argue with her and just let it go. I am learning that yelling does nothing but hurt her little soul and she doesn't need that. I am learning that sometimes I need to let her try to do it first before I step in and do something for her. She is learning how to handle her frustrations and I will be there to comfort her when she gets frustrated. 

Man, I'm not gonna lie this year and stage has been raw and real and most of all ugly. I remember crying to myself after I dropped her off at school this week because she wanted to daddy to take her to school. She cried the whole way to school about it and it broke me down. She is learning that dad is the fun one that doesn't like rules and structure. He thinks that she can go to bed at 10pm and wake up at the same time in a perfectly good mood. But what he doesn't understand is I am the one on the floor holding her and loving on her because she is exhausted and doesn't know how to process that. 

The age Two is hard but I wouldn't trade this sweet baby for anything. You never know what will come out of her mouth. I am learning to trust the fact that I am doing the best that I can for her. I am learning that she is trying to figure out who she is and where her life is going to take her. She is learning how to be independent and need me less. Which totally hurts me more than her. I just hope that god can continue to guide me and help me to be the best momma for this little girl. 


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